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Post by L'yst and Woreth on Nov 2, 2010 19:56:47 GMT -5
"Do you mind if we have the meal here?" L'yst asked even as they entered the weyr. He hadn't wanted to be around everyone else. The moment they'd entered the dining hall and everyone had looked his way, had nearly been his undoing. He didn't want to be around them, not yet. Didn't want to see the pity and pain in their eyes which he knew was reflected in his own.
Heaving a sigh, he glanced to Woreth's bed. L'yst reached out and touched his mind.
Do you need me mine?, Woreth was worried about the sadness he felt from L'yst, but he'd gone to fulfill his own needs.
No. Enjoy the juicy buck. I'll be fine. I'm not alone. Woreth spoke his pleasure at that, for he did not wish L'yst to be alone during this difficult time.
With the tray of food in his hand, L'yst placed it on the table and turned back to S'ren. With a gesture of his hand, he indicated his friend and lover should join him.
"Thank you, S'ren. For understanding....everything," L'yst said, his voice lower and less strong than it often was. He was hurting inside and needed to talk, but didn't want to open a wound he couldn't seal or dump everything onto this man. He didn't deserve that.
"I'm just going to wash up," L'yst said and moved to the wash basin near the bedchamber. As he reached into the water, his hands shook. He clenched them together and stared at them. Taking a deep breath, he tried not to see the sight of the weyrlings falling from the sky over and over again.
He didn't even realize he'd dropped his head and was clenching the table on which the water basin sat as he tried to control the feelings of despair and guilt that struck him again.
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Post by S'ren and Kasalith on Nov 7, 2010 21:12:26 GMT -5
S'ren walked at L'yst's side as they approached the blue rider's weyr. Just last night he had hurried to leave only to return the next day alongside the other rider. Fear had been replaced with hope. S'ren wasn't sure about the future, but right now he couldn't imagine being with anyone else but L'yst.
"No, I don't mind. I prefer this actually," S'ren said, smiling softly at the other man. He had seen the way L'yst's muscles had tensed when they went to the dining hall. Everyone's eyes had been on him and each sad stare must have been a constant reminder that riders had died...and that it was his fault. Or so he told himself.
S'ren watched as Woreth rose. His large, blue hide glimmered in the low light casting fairy lights and shadows on the stone walls. He couldn't hear what was said between them, but Woreth did not linger very long. Soon he and L'yst were left alone and the silence around them pressed close on all sides. S'ren moved over to L'yst's side and began arranging their food so that they could eat.
"Thank you, S'ren. For understanding....everything,"
S'ren large green eyes rose to meet the blue rider's and he frowned. There was no need to acknowledge his words. L'yst knew he hadn't thought twice about not helping. L'yst's problems were his and if something bothered him he would be there to take on the burden. That was how it worked when you loved someone else...
S'ren nodded once, but he wasn't sure if L'yst saw. The man's back was to him as he crossed over to the water basin to clean up. He watched him for a moment before turning back to the food. He had grabbed everything he could while in the lower caverns. Apples, pears, meats galore. His appetite was growing considerably the longer he waited to eat. He was sure L'yst felt the same.
"What do you say we eat dessert first. These pies look delicious." He dug around in the tray, moving around the fruits and vegetables. S'ren brought a slice of pie up to his nose to get a good, long whiff. Apple and cinnamon. He turned to face L'yst.
"What's your fav...." S'ren breath caught in his throat at the sight of L'yst. Oh no!
The slice of pie dropped to the ground as he rushed to L'yst's side.
"I'm here, L'yst." S'ren's arms snaked around his waist and he pulled him close. "Please. Let me help you. You're not alone."
Tag: L'yst
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Post by L'yst and Woreth on Nov 7, 2010 22:06:50 GMT -5
He hadn't heard any of S'ren's words. L'yst felt like he was spiraling downward into a chasm that he couldn't escape. Even Woreth's worried voice didn't seem to reach him in that moment.
And then S'ren was there, the warmth of his arms making the darkness recede.
Lystmine, I couldn't reach you. You were cold. I do not like this.
I'm alright Woreth. S'ren is with me. I promise I won't go away. That was all he could manage to convey to his lifemate, yet even in his own heartache he needed Woreth to know he was alright.
"S'ren...I..." L'yst looked at the man who had been by his side throughout this ordeal and suddenly his inner strength seemed to crumbled. He'd been walking around the Weyr half the day trying to hold himself together, but now, here, alone with S'ren, L'yst couldn't do it anymore.
His head lowered, and his body trembled as he drew in a tear-choked breath. "I sent them out...they're gone now." His voice broke, as tears finally fell from his eyes. L'yst wanted to crumble to the floor himself, but luckily, somehow he found himself perched on the edge of the bed with S'ren still by his side. He wanted to open his heart and soul and weep for the lives that had been lost, yet he tried one final time to pull the shattered pieces of himself back together. He wouldn't fall apart, he was stronger than that. In trying to hold himself together, he was closing himself off to the one person who mattered more to him than any other.
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Post by S'ren and Kasalith on Nov 22, 2010 20:45:24 GMT -5
S'ren rested his head against L'yst's back and closed his eyes. This grieving process was not one that he knew much about. He felt helpless; like nothing he said or did would make this any easier for L'yst. S'ren pulled the other man closer and stroked his chest.
"You did what you thought was right. Don't ever feel bad about it. Anyone would have done the same. You thought they were ready...and perhaps they were. Riders die, L'yst. This wasn't your fault and deep down you know that."
S'ren moved away and turned L'yst so that the other man faced him. The tears he saw streaming down his face made his heart tighten in his chest. Stepping closer, he reached a hand up, he wiped the tears away.
"You have to forgive yourself."
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Post by L'yst and Woreth on Nov 22, 2010 21:00:55 GMT -5
He heard all of S'ren's words. He _knew_ they were right. L'yst just had to find a way to believe the himself, but first he needed to grieve in his way.
Leaning into the man before him, he allowed himself the moment of grief before he raised his head and gazed into S'ren's eyes.
"I don't know if I know how," he said, his voice hoarse and tight from emotion. "I can't do this alone, and yet...when I'm out _there_," he gestured towards the doorway out of his room. "I found myself surrounded by people, yet feeling more alone than I've ever felt in my life."
L'yst was nearly nose to nose with S'ren. "The aloneness presses in on me like a dark cloud. I can't seem to get away." His eyes, so full of the emotions he spoke of, were still troubled. "It's only with you that I feel the cloud seem to lift," he managed to get the last out before his throat seemed to close on him.
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Post by S'ren and Kasalith on Nov 22, 2010 21:23:39 GMT -5
"Then I'll stay here by your side," S'ren said, stroking L'yst's jawline. His hand slipped around to the back of L'yst neck and he pulled him down. "I'm not going anywhere, alright. This will be our battle and we'll fight it together." S'ren stepped closer and kissed L'yst softly on the lips.
"I'm here," he whispered against his lips. "We'll get though this..." His fingertips trailed against the fine hairs at the base of L'yst's neck as he deepened their kiss.
If he needed him to stay all night or all week for that matter, he would. This tiny connection he had with L'yst meant more to him than anything else in this world. He'd take care of him, see that he never wanted for anything. L'yst's happiness was his own.
Love...it was a miraculous thing.
Tag: L'yst
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Post by L'yst and Woreth on Nov 22, 2010 21:39:28 GMT -5
L'yst drew in a breath at just how much S'ren's words meant to him. L'yst responded to the kiss. The touch making him feel electrified and alive.
"Stay," he breathed as he pulled S'ren down onto the bed beside him. "I need you." L'yst shifted on the bed and brought S'ren down beside him. His lips moved over the greenrider's needing to taste him, to feel the closeness between them. His hand caressed his lover's face. S'ren had given him so much already, could he really ask this man to suffer through this with him? Yet, he needed him.
"Help me to forget, S'ren, at least for tonight," he breathed as he lowered his head near S'ren's ear, his tongue just barely caressing the skin there.
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